Whoops.

There was a parade downtown today. I thought I was going to be on top of things for once. I looked up the parade route but didn't really take the time to fully absorb the route. So I drove right into it on my way to open the gallery. I had to abandon the car and walk down. Fortunately, I was wearing walking shoes. Once I got to the studio, however, I put everything down and went to see the parade.

I have not produced anything today but I did do some business brainstorming and came up with a couple of ideas to get the word out about Kat Schneider Studio/Gallery. I'm showing you a figure painting I did last week. I took a drawing that I didn't like so much so that if I muffed it, I wouldn't feel so bad. The more I look at the resulting painting, the better I like it. My ultimate goal is not to do life-like portraits, but I'm not sure where I'm going. I am driven to draw the human form. Why? To what purpose? Maybe it's to figure out who I am and what my place is in the scheme of things.

Nebulae.

I worked on a figure drawing to begin with today because I'm afraid of feeling incompetent and the only way to get over that is to power through the feeling and practice so that I get better.

After that, I gave myself permission (isn't all this angst fascinating?) to play with some more small paintings. They are works of art in their own right but because they are smaller, I'm am not so intimidated. I can have fun while I work out ideas and see what works. I'm now ping ponging, yes that's the technical term, from big works to small ones and back again.

Nebulae are star forming areas in space where gas, dust and other material bunch up, attract more material as they gain mass. They are incipient stars. My paintings are in the process becoming something more, as are my capabilities as an artist and well rounded human being.

Kathleen Faulkner, who I've been following at kathleenfaulkner.blogspot.com stopped by my studio/gallery, and we spoke for a bit. Her blogs are picturesque and poetic as is her work. It was fun to see a real person.

Kristen Gilje stopped by as well. She may be showing at my gallery this fall. In the meantime, check out her blog kristen-gilje.blogspot.com.

Keepin' on, keepin' on.

This painting is the red-headed stepchild. No matter what I do, I cannot make it behave.

In an earlier entry, I thought people might enjoy guessing what it was about. I had thought the central object resembled a wing and wanted to call it "Flight" which I may still do, because it reminded me of the flight of Iccarus (I can't remember if an 's' gets an apostrophe and another 's' or what). Unfortunately, I'm beginning to feel that this painting isn't even getting off the ground. The photo looks better than real life because all my struggles to make something of it are blurred.

I'm feeling more confident in what I'm doing, not in response to any sales, but if I'm going to put my work in front of the viewing public, I may as well do it right.

An appropriate painting.

Work in progress.

My paintings seem to be getting a little surreal. No one, nary a sole, came into the gallery today. I figured out how much this little venture will cost me, if I'm lucky. I've decided to sign a month to month lease so we'll see just how unreal my life is going to get.

As for the subject of this painting, I seem to have harkened back to my high school days, when I was interested in Greek mythology. Any guesses as to what the subject of this painting will be?

Abstract Expressionism is about the painter expressing her subconsciousness. However, I've never felt that I stand in front of my easel and emoting all over the canvas. When painting, I'm thinking of technical things, for instance, composition or what colors will complement each other. When I begin a painting, I am not thinking, today I am frustrated with the postman so I will paint angrily.

 I realized halfway through the painting what it reminded me of, and since writing this blog and talking about my new enterprise, I have realized just how appropriate this painting is. Every painter seems to have some brilliant rationalization for their practice while I have been channelling my inner Jackson Pollock (de Kooning was better about talking about art than was manly Pollock). Today, in this blog, I have been finally able to articulate my practice. This is quite the break through blog entry.

Underworld Deities.

Madea's Choice, mixed media on paper, 40"x25"

Madea helped Jason on his quest to get the Golden Fleece. One legend says that she killed her brother, cut up his body and threw it on the islands as the Argo passed knowing that her father would stop to pick up the pieces allowing Jason to escape. Another legend says that her brother was killed when pursuing Jason. Jason later left her for a younger richer woman and Euripedes writes that she murdered her children in revenge when earlier legends say that other people did it.

Male writers through the ages have been sympathetic to Jason's plight and painted Madea as a criminal. Naturally, I feel sympathy for her. She couldn't get her own boat to sail off and have adventures. She was dependent on someone to help her. She relied on Jason for survival and he let her down, perhaps for his own survival.

This painting is about her choice to leave home and go adventuring, before she had to pay the price for her unfeminine desires. I imagine the open sea before her, the wind in her hair and the prospect of freedom.

So, What Do You Think?

Faithful Sirius

Enchantress

Don't ask what's up with the distribution of the photos. Let's just pass lightly on...

So, these are the uncooperative paintings from yesterday. What do we think, circular file or should I reserve them for the future when I'm more detached from them? Immediately after I've painted something I have strong feelings about it because what I was feeling when I painted them is present. I need to see them in different lights (studio versus house), through someone else's eyes, or after time has past and I'm a different person before I can see them for what they are and not what I wanted them to be.

I have been reading Lee Krasner's biography. I wonder if she'll start to creep into what I do with a paintbrush.

A Lesson Learned.

Kat Schneider Studio/Gallery

I thought I'd show you where I work. I love seeing photos of other people's work space. This space is large and airy. It would be perfect if there were windows on both sides of the room but at least the woman who rented it before me, Sharon Kingston, had the sense to put in some more windows. I see people from time to time but for the most part I have solitude in which to work.

I worked all day, well four hours anyway, on the three small paintings on the table. They would not behave at all but we finally agreed to compromise. They resolved into something that I didn't actively despise, and I promised not to set them on fire.

My mind needs to switch gears into something completely different or it simply shuts down. Next week, I'm going to take good paper to the model groups I attend so that I can have figure paintings to work on. Must stop whining and start painting figures.

The Process of Long Term Thinking.

Last Friday's art walk in downtown Bellingham, WA was well attended. I was pleased with the look of my paintings on the wall and even felt relaxed enough for this time to giggle a little as I scooted around at 9pm in my wheelie chair because I was so tired. I felt like Igor.

Sharon Kingston persuaded me to try the power of positive thinking that I WOULD sell a painting that night. I'll try somethings at least once so I was convinced that my small paintings were so fabulous and fabulously priced that they'd fly off the wall. I was even concerned that I'd run out of the things.

Apart from a pre-sale, nothing flew anywhere and by the end of the evening I was feeling pretty let down. So I'm returning to my preferred m.o. of cautious, long term optimism. Eventually people will come to know and appreciate my art, even as I continue to refine and improve my capabilities as an artist so as to make it something people would love to spend their days with. Cheers.

May 6th Bellingham, WA Art Walk.

I'm beginning to get in the swing of running a gallery. Yesterday was Art Walk. Lots of people came out despite the rain. It was children's Art Walk as well and it was fun to see some of the little tykes.

By the time the walk starts, I'm usually pretty fatigued and my brain shuts down anyway when there's a lot of people in the room. I got to talk about how I do my paintings- I enjoy mixing water soluble crayons and acrylic to get a lot of different effects. I have been trying to resolve what inspires me in a way that makes it understandable for others. Sometimes I start out with a general idea and other times the paintings them selves give me the idea. I'm trying to express ideas in a non-verble way so I have to detach my consciousness from my actions in some way and one way to to react to the materials. I'm also interested in what my paintings say to my audience so I always appreciate someone's willingness to share.